Dizzy

Lesson learned. Don't chase. The right one WILL come around :)

Perfectly stated.

All You Gotta Do Is Stay White And Die...

I always find myself thinking.. well I have to do this...

Truth is, you don't have to do anything at all. All you HAVE to do in this lifetime is stay white and die. 

Simply stated.

My daddy would remind me of this on a daily basis.. and today especially (the 16th-- hitting me like a ton of bricks like always--) I have been thinking about him.

He did more then just "stay white and die" he has given me so much knowledge and advise to take on the world. He showed me unconditional love, and was someone that no matter what, he was always there to help. His decision was irrational, however from a man that preached.. if you don't want to, don't!! He sure did more then just that. He was the type of person that left a huge impact on you. He left you thinking. He had something about him. He was the one man in the world that when he told me something, I would believe it despite everything else. I miss being able to call him and tell him about the men, I want his advise on what I should and shouldn't do. He was a player--but never would let his little princess get played. I wanted more then anything for him to walk me down the isle. Its the little basic things in life that people often overlook, but once it's gone you realize how important the little things are! No one will ever replace him..

I miss my dad so much, but I do have to continually remind myself that I would rather have had my dad for the 19 and a half years that I did, then any other man take his place.

Loveee

Love yourself.

Take today to appreciate who you are. 

Valentines day is the sweetest most romantic holiday of the year...

If you don't have someone to share it with, spoil yourself. You are worth it! :)

<3

Mortified..

Never in my life did I think we would have to do things with out our Dad. Even if it was just being sick, or having a bad day he was always there for you even if it was simple as just talking. Surgery thursday-- I don't think I have ever been more scared. I am glad I can put this experience in my year of "firsts" as well. I miss my dad. I wish more then anything he was here.

Its my mom who is a true saint, when the world falls a part she is the first person to pick me up. She is the most amazing mom and friend anyone could ask for. She has never given up, she has never let me down, she has never not been there for me. No distance will ever keep us a part. However the lack of her picking up her phone is... something else.

I am mortified.... but I know I will make it through. I have a guardian angle watching over me--daddy, and an angel on earth-- mommy. In good hands. Blessed.

<3

Lapsed

Your wish is my command....

I see it like a drug, something that is addicting... it hurts you,, but while you are high the high never gets old..  Its something you find yourself falling in love with. Something that you don't ever want to picture yourself with out.. until one day you come to terms with yourself, that like a drug,-- it will never add value to life. It is not something that can't live with out me. It is not something that has dreams about a future.

There is nothing about it that keeps me holding on. Just not enough STRENGTH to overcome the withdraws. Like every other strong person that overcomes addiction, it is something that will soon be overcome. It will take strength, support, and sacrifice....

Like a drug addict--I've lapsed.

Its emotional addicting. I know I am better off with out. 

It won't be until the day I realize I am better and stronger then the drug, and once my mind, body, and heart are in sync it will just take a matter of seconds to let it all go.

The bookkk-

((Summer obsession. Sits on thee night stand every night.. He's Just Not That Into You.

--> I think he's into me.. but you gotta make sure you are right. so please use the book. hahah :) ))

Okay, so maybe it's just me.. But finding what seems to be the right man in college,  life isn't always the easiest thing in the world. Solely basing your decision on looks,, let me tell you MISTAKE. I don't think in my life I have ever dated someone that wasn't in my eyes incredibly sexy. As I grow and learn I have realized that personality and desire are the things that you are going to want to spend eternity with. Right?

Excuses... Don't put up with them!

He's Just Not That Into You-- Your Daily Wake Up Call.. States the concept perfectly!

15. I know that guy you're dating. He is a man made up entirely of your excuses.. and the minute you stop making excuses for him, he will completely disappear.

We would classify this with a time waster right? Correct.

8. Wasting time with the wrong person is  just time wasted. And when you do move on and find your right person, believe me, you are not going to wish you had gotten to spend more time with Stinky the Time-Waster or Freddy Can't Remember-to-Call....

Am I right, okay the book is right. But seriously put thought into it!

This is no real reflection of my life. I am happy. Satisfied. Stretched across the board, but keeping it real... giving my best everyday and am holding nothing back. 

If you are in love, be in love... but make sure you are on the right page. There is someone out there for you.. and probably more then one person that you are compatible with. Don't let a man dictate your life.

You need to love, cherish, and respect yourself... and the right man will be willing to give you more then you can give yourself.

<3 Love Alwayss

Missing you.

When I want to break down and freak out, give up and call it a day, call it a week.. I remember struggles develop strength. Going through hardship for the last nine and months and making the choice to not to surrender that is true strength. Dealing with loss as well as everyday struggles would push most people over the edge.. .. I am a strong, beautiful, amazing, loving, smart, successful, and a 20 year old gem. I don't there there are too many people in the world that can handle with the strength and dignity the things I have overcome.


I will forever cherish each relationship that I have started and established, I want to leave a name that people will remember, sort of like Mother Teresa. I know I have a long way to go.. but one day I will have that strength and love to be so kind and sympathetic as she.


As I approach each day, I am more positive, more grateful, and have so much more love to give. I am so grateful for my family that has chose to stick it out on earth with me. I am happy and cherish the people that have come and go from my life.


Although I am still unsure why everything happened the way it did. Look at me now, I am so much stronger and have gone through something most people in this world will ever have to face, and for that I am strong and independent. Anyone can give up, but when you hang on when giving up is what is expected from you.. that is STRENGTH.


Blessed. That is the best way to describe my life. I have a Guardian Angel that looks over me each day. Someone that gave me the courage and strength to be the best I can be each and every day. It might only be 20 %.. but its me for now.


I have to thank my family, my mother, the strongest best person to ever walk the earth. A true saint. When the world falls a part she is the first person to lend a hand and pick me back up. My big most amazing brother Damen.. My inspiration.. and my three little brothers. All of them are so much stronger then me.. and I look up to each of them. We are all there for each other... and share a special bond that I promise no one will ever experience with their brothers.


Blessed. Loved. and STRONG.


<3 Always.